Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
