Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
