Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
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