I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
