i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
they're like a gay fantastic four
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
