I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
