remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
