I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
