uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
