Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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