I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
