i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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