Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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