Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
