My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
