why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
