If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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