i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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