i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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