grandma shit on top of the toilet
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
