it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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