i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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