I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
