I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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