Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
