Fuck appropriateness.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
