every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
