Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
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