Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
