I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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