what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize