I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i just made my gag reflex go away.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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