You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
