You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
