well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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