I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
