kristin has been a bad kristin
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Randomize
