i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize