when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
