its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Randomize
