If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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