You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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