It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize