Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
