i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
