Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize