maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
