he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
