Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
