you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
