when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
