i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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