Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize