I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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