How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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