Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
