just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
