It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
