doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
